lame jokes of the night

1.Notice In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

2. Welcome to Curl Up 'N Dye Hair Salon!

3. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?

4. "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

5. Notice On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.

6. "We are sorry, but these toilets are out of action. Please use???????floor." -- A sign on a shopping center's restroom door, indicating that the restroom was closed. The sign was intended to give directions to the nearest open restroom, but the staff had forgotten to fill in the blank.

7. "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller

8. At the entrance of the large machinery plant: Warning to young ladies: If you wear loose clothes, beware of the machinery. If you wear tight clothes, beware of the machinist.

9. "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757

10. At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

11. On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

12. Notice In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

13. Notice At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

14. Notice In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: Drop your trousers here for best results.

15. Notice In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.

16. Notice In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.

17. Outside a country shop in West Virginia: We buy junk and sell antiques.

18. On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.

19. Sign In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

20. Notice In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.

In a New York restaurant: Customers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.

In the window of an Oregon general store: Why go elsewhere to be cheated, when you can come here?

Notice In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In a department store: Bargain Basement Upstairs.

Sign At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet? Miss a car payment.

Notice In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.

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